May 17, 2010

higher grounds, higher sounds..


foto by Keita Suzuki

the night became an escape
starin at the ceilin feelin the hate
tears rollin down my sister's face
quietly whisperin, it'll be okay
the loudness increase climax release
feet stumble down stairs, our bodies freeze
lookin at eachother thru the door crack
at the yellow light shinin from where the war's at
now silence. even more scary that..
it's close to fact now, daddy's gone,
where he went to, none of us knew.
gone for so long, that we became used to
not having him around, still i missed the sound of
his voice and the love in his music
if he had chosen to stay, their love would have abused it
or would it..see love reminds me that love is kind, could it
be that what we called love was something else entirely,
some strange thing laced with anger and jealousy
something that would cease to exist when set free..
but one needs peace to see resist and let be.
so now the storm is gone but there is not yet calm
i see clear as day the wooden necklace sway
and the sadness that has overcome my mom
in that place where love lost its way.
and i have lived long enuff to witness regrets expressed.
one would think..
when you've failed once you'd study harder for life's next big test,
with us, not so
we, hold on more, before we let go,
find it close to impossible to say sorry,
eventhough how we feel we all know,
hardly, make way for higher grounds..
i remember happiness, my father cleaning
the valves of his trumpet, playing,
closing his eyes as if dreaming
new sounds all around put there to protect us
spiritually, as if the sound there was an energy
stronger than any negativity..
we needed it, cause while they did,
the fear anger and hatred did not quit.
we went thru more confusion and bullshit,
attempted suicide and false pride,
moma steady liquor pourin' claim she not an alcoholic
cause she never drank before four,
never woke up before three,
up late nights drinkin' alone in the dark watchin' t.v.
no judgment from me,
everybody got their own way of feelin' free..
somebody told me god's orbit is different from man's
that's why we have to leave this realm for that to understand.
sound chose to take me to higher grounds
call me a travelling man..
don' wanna come down..

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